Jim-enese

My nephew, Jimmy, speaks his own language, which I call Jim-enese. He's 3 and no one understands him besides a select few of us. Me, his mom, and Grandma. He's speech is so bad that my sister hopes they put him in speech therapy once he gets in school. He also speaks incredibly fast and REALLY REALLY loud. Well, the other day, his big sister said that she was in the gym. This confused the crap out of Jimmy. He then went on a 3 year old question binge with my sister about...what is a gym? what do you do there? what games? what is dodgeball? Once my sister has explained how one plays dodgeball, Jimmy looks at her in all seriousness and says "I don't EVER want to play dodgeball." Now if you could hear how he says these things you would die laughing. Plus if you have ever seen a serious 3 year old face, you would be in heaven with the giggles. I of course had to question him on his lack of love for the game of dodgeball. He thought I was NUTS! :)

A little catch up...

Last week was challenging to say the least.

We have the house torn apart to paint the kitchen. Painting from top to bottom. Cabinet doors are in the basement in my processing arrangement. Dogs have only been painted a little bit. And to top it off, the mainline of the sewer decided that it wanted to start backing up, and we were without water use. Nothing like not being able to pee to stress out a couple of girls. When it was finally fixed, we were super excited. Relieved, but now we need to pull things out and get a crew to get all the nasty stuff out of the basement.

Work has been not so awesome, cuz people are busy freaking out about the new system that we are moving to and that I am training them on. And one of the people who will be laid off soon fell outside on the ice and busted her shoulder. This was the day before the first person for the layoffs had her last day. We are suddenly down two people, and we are training/changing processing. It was crazy around there before, and now we have even more craziness.

We ended up going to the roller derby girls for a friend's birthday. Awesome time. Then some bar time in Nordeast for more good time.

I've spent today going through OkCupid and Plentyoffish profiles. I've been slightly inspired (for lack of the appropriate words) to update after last night's events. Got to meet a friend's newly acquired lady friend via Plentyoffish. She seemed pleasant and like a good time. It has only been a couple of weeks, but seem to like each other fairly well so far. If nothing else, maybe I will meet some interesting people.

Life Lessons from Old Grannies

Oh story from lunch yesterday and a life lesson that I will live by when I am old.

There was this little old lady in the café. She was little and frail and had apparently got her hair done at the salon. Same salon that the another little old lady drove through.** Well, she wasn’t strong enough to open her crackers, so she used a pen from her purse.

Life lesson: if you are not strong enough to open your crackers, please don’t drive.

**A few months ago, a little old granny drove up through the lawn, jumped a landscape wall, drove through an empty office and the hallway and then into the salan in the downstairs of my office building. No one was hurt, but one of the salon ladies had to push a customer out of the way and said that the granny was still revving her engine, when the car finally got stuck.

One of those weeks

It struck me midweek that it has been a year since my grandpa passed away. I am generally pretty good with dealing with death, but this one bothers me for a number of reasons. Shortly after moving back to Minnesota from Des Moines, I decided that I had had enough of my dad's family. In general, they are very nasty people and were not supportive in my move back or anything in my life for that matter. They are mean little people and I often found myself as the outcast and singled out for their meanness. Normal people do not call you drunk in the afternoon to yell at you for an hour about donating a mattress that no one wanted or needed. They also don't show up at your college graduation and insult you on your looks. Anyways, not the point. I hadn't seen or talked to them in years, when my stepmom called me to let me know that my grandfather had died. Okay, that sucks, but what sucks more is that he had had an accident on Christmas day and been in the hospital, having surgeries and being in and out of it for almost a month and he had actually died 3 days earlier. Nice. Thanks guys. Not only did they not tell me he was hurt, they waited to tell me that he had died, AND this comment from my stepmom "your dad doesn't know I am calling you, but you can call me on my cellphone and he won't know you called." He hadn't even thought of calling me himself. He is a selfish prick, but really?! Who does that? She told me where the service was to be and that they would be cremating him...strike that, they already had. I didn't go. I wrote my sisters a card and one to the whole family in general and left them the day before the service at the cremation society. Stepmom tried to call me one more time after that to thank me for the card. Not my dad. Not my grandma. Not any of my aunts, uncles or cousins.

BUT enough about that. Let's talk about funny stuff...

I had to take my grandma (mom's mom) to mass on Sunday for my nephew's baptism. She goes to mass more than once a week. Practically everyday, but I am not sure how she does it. I personally do not feel a calling to god or church, but she has no attention span. I realize that she and I are very similar. My mom calls me Little Rosie, cuz of it, but wow. I was zoning out, but she was hysterical. We weren't even 5 minutes in and she was whispering and giggling. I had to shhh my own 82 year old grandma, cuz we were getting looks. The priest was telling the wedding story of the water into wine and mentioned that there were 6 vessels of about 20-30 gallons each that were turned into wine. At this point my grandma turns to me and says "20-30 gallons times 6. That's a lot of wine. It would be quite the party" and wiggles her eyebrows at me. Now I am in the pew giggling next to her, and we are both getting looks. For the next 45 minutes, she is commenting on the stain glass, staring at the ceiling and peeking around at all the people in the church. I'm not going to lie; I was just as bad. I love that goofy little grandma.

If I have kids I want them to know her. Have her make them "skinny pancakes", caramel corn, quilts and crocheted dolls. To laugh with her, when she calls them every name but their own (she does this all day long-always has) and learn to read between the lines to figure out who she really is talking about. Wander through her garden, eat more berries and peas than go in their bucket. Show up with them on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving to eat fresh made rolls with homemade raspberry-rhubarb jelly.

Why should I train you to do the job of coworkers that are being laid off

and probably my job too. Okay, today they sent me the questions from the technical writer who is making instructions for the new people who will be taking the jobs of 5 of my coworkers away to another office. First, I have already written these instructions and trained a bunch of people with how to do everything from changing the Mr to Ms to adjusting their taxes. Secondly, if they would have thought ahead, they would have had the supervisors of these folks come out and learn from us(me-I am the trainer) on how to train their new employees. Or send me out there. Also, if you are going to hire a technical writer to produce and instruction book, don't you think you should maybe hire someone who has used the system before? Just some thoughts I had, when I began going into his questions, which he had so kindly put into his actual instructions so that I could answer them in the instructions. Then I started getting into the instructions this douchebag was hired to write...oh wait he hasn't WRITTEN anything. He has taken MY instructions, shrunk down the screen prints and changed nothing but words like "locate" to "choose." Oh and changed the sizing on my arrows and font. Wow. Just wow. How much are they paying this guy? I mean this is word for word my instructions. They only thing he really added was "why should they use the pay period beginning?"

This weather must be getting to me

It's sad, but it is January, and I am already tired of the cold. We've had a cold spell where it has been hovering around zero (without the wind chill) for way too long for my liking. I am actually excited that it might reach 30 in the next few days. How sad is that?

What's sadder is that being trapped in the house, hunkered down in down blankets is getting to me. I feel very little ambition and am getting kinda sad about that whole thing. Taking things to heart and not thinking about them rationally. Some things I know where meant as a slight, but following items probably were not. Lame. I was sick from Christmas until now, and I don't think this is helping too much.

I have spent a little time in the gym, which is helping, but I want to get outside. Phew. Back to work.

The Journey of a Lifetime

About 2 hours ago, Bekah and I decided that we will be doing a roadtrip along the longest garage sale route DURING the garage sale! Hooray! Now I am in full planning mode. I need to figure out the actual route, camp sites and timing! Super Awesome. It looks like she and I will be going tit alone, but if any of our friends really want to attend, let me know!